Friday, November 23, 2007

let them say I'm crazy, what do they know?

I'm badly missing someone right now. *tears*

Everytime i try to get closer, I always end up getting hurt. So I'm trying very hard (very, very, very, very hard) not to get close na. Hard. Sweet and slow torture. Ahhh, welcome to my life. :) haha. This entry's for you. :)

Naiisip mo pa kaya ako? Bago matulog or pag ka gising? Kahit dun lang sa time na yun, masaya na ako. I hope you're happy with the people you are with everyday. It pinches my heart na buti pa sila nakakasama at nakaka usap mo araw-araw, samantalang ako hanggang sa pag sstalk nalang. (I want you to know that I constantly check your friendster, multiply and DA for updates. haha.) Buti pa sila, they get to see you smile or laugh or joke around or hear your voice. Super daming beses ko na pinipigilan yung sarili kung tawagan ka. Kasi, baka mag-away lang tayo or makulitan ka lang sakin or mainis lalo. haha. Tama na, the last thing i need is for you to get mad at me again.
Every 9:30pm I always check my phone if ever you'll text me na naka-uwi ka na or what. Kasi nung tuesday bigla kang nangamusta. Siyempre natuwa naman ako. Everytime I eat, iniisip ko kung nakakain ka na rin kaya. You texted me your schedule this sem so I know na by 9 or 10 in the morning you're up na getting ready and by 11 siguro nasa school ka na. Except by friday na 7am yung pasok mo. I wonder if pagdating ng 2:30 sino na kaya mga kasama mo. Your friends again? Tapos mag-iisip na ako ng kung anu-anong bagay, like in love ka na sa iba or nanliligaw ka na or kayo na or ikakasal na kayo (hahaha) tapos ma-iiyak na naman ako. haha. Buti nalang pag-uwi ko from school laging walang tao sa apartment so hindi nila nakikitang umiiyak ako lagi pag dating. Kasi pag dating nila, masayang masaya na ako dapat. Ayoko kasing kaawaan nila ako eh. Ayoko ng awa. Hindi ko kailangan ng awa. Enough na yung awa ko sa sarili ko.
Anyways, lagi kung iniisip kung nagawa mo na ba yung mga homework mo. Kung busy ka ba. Kung binibisita mo rin ba yung friendster at multiply at blog ko. Natutuwa naman ako pag nakikita ko na viniew mo yung multiply ko. :) (ang babaw ko nuh? haha.)
Nakita ko yung binigay mo saking card nung 11th monthsary natin, yung my 'right on track.' Yung dinaan mo pa talaga dito sa bahay kasi summer noon. Ang sweet. :) Naka sulat dun "we'll always be ONE" *tears*tears* aiun. wala, natuwa ulit ako. haha. I always wear the necklace na gift mo nung xmas. Yung my star. Kahit pag tulog. Para man lang kahit sa isang piece of jewelry, maramdam kong andito ka pa rin. Iniisip ko rin kung ginagamit mo pa rin yung slippers na gift ko sayo. Ako, ginagamit ko na. For the longest time tinago ko siya sa cabinet ko kasi naiiyak ako pag nakikita ko, pero ngayon in fairness, nagagamit ko na. :)
Minsan gusto ko basahin ulit yung mga dear diary notes ko sayo nung highschool, pero naalala ko, binigay ko nga pala sayo un nung anniv natin. haha. Please, wag mo itatapon un ha. Kung itatapon mo yun, bigay mo nalang sakin ulit. :'( Natutuwa ako pag naaalala ko yung mga moments na yun. Hindi ko pa pala nakkwento sayo, dati nung nasa states ka pa, mag ttype ako ng mga sweet texts na kunyari isesend ko daw sayo. haha. Kilig naman ako. Nagkatotoo naman yung mga kunyaring sweet texts ko sayo nung naging tayo eh. :)
Lagi ko rin iniisip na sana bisitahin mo ako sa LB. Dati kasi sabi mo, bibisitahin mo pa rin ako sa LB. I don't know lang ngayon kung gagawin mo pa un. I just want to see you. Sa sunday, sina mara hatid so pupunta ako sa kanila malamang. Hindi ko alam kung masisilayan kita. hahaha. Magbabago na ako ng color ng braces la lang gusto ko lang mapansin mo. Pati, namayat na daw talaga ako sabi ni Mommy, la lang gusto ko lang mapansin mo. Hindi ko alam kung magpapagupit ako ng maikling hair. Alam mo namang gusto ko mahaba pero ikaw gusto mo maikli. Wala lang, nagpapapansin lang. HAHA.
Every night I pray na sana you'll come back. Gumagamit ako ng mental telepathy na kunyari mapapasa ko sayo yung mga iniisip ko. HAHAHA. I whisper 'I love you and i miss you' every single night hoping na sana marinig mo. Eh bakit ba malay mo maisip mo na sinasabi ko yun, eh di parang narinig mo na din. haha. Hindi ko alam bakit kita laging napapanaginipan. Siguro kasi lagi kitang iniisip. (oo nga, logic lang. haha) Pero nice naman yung mga dreams ko eh. Siguro kahit sa dreams lang, atleast nagiging masaya ako. :) You are still my source of happiness. Amazing nuh? :)
Kahit hindi ko intention, umaasa pa rin ako at nag-aantay na babalik ka. Hayaan mo ng masaktan ako kung hindi magkatotoo pero I can't tell my heart to stop eh. By Christmas kaya anong mangyayari? December 1 is next Saturday. Wow, it has been 2 years. :) 2 years ago noong first ever nag holding hands tayo. hahaha. Ang baduy ko talaga. That was a thursday then. Ngayon, magiging saturday siya. I love saturdays pa naman. :)
There. That's what I'm thinking about every day. Every single day. Walang kupas yan ah. I don't know kung mababasa mo ito, but i hope you will. You are still my tracky. :)
wala naman makakabago nun eh. And you look really good now, sa mga pics mo. (hindi ako nambobola! hahahaha.)
*tears*

I will find a way to be ok. Let them say I'm crazy, what do they know?

"And we can build this thing together, stand in stone forever, nothing's gonna stop us now.
And if this world runs out of lovers we'll still have each other.
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now."
nothing's gonna stop me.

Monday, November 19, 2007

and i'm down to my last cry.

empty.alone.lonely.left behind.confused.dazed.hurt.tears.memories.letters.text messages.pictures.scent.touch.smile.eyes.music.heartbreak.faults.regrets.
miseries.blame.promises.false promises.
LOVE.

i can't. i can't move forward. i can't. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know how. i don't know where to start. how do you stop the hurting. how do you stop the tears from falling. how do you move on from something you've hold on to for so long.

How.Why.When.Where.

*tears*

take me to places where dreams come true, where prayers are answered, where everything seems..right.





Saturday, November 17, 2007

I gave you the best I have.

So 2nd sem 07-08 officially started. :( This sem will be my toughest, hardest, whatever est one yet. So hey let's go let's fight! I'm so tired from all that studying last sem. But I've got nothing else to do than study when I'm in LB. I'm left with no option. How sad naman my life. HAHA. :)

Anyways, I think Hist1 will be my favorite subject this sem! Weeee! Selle best in HeKaSi ka nung grade6, it's your time to shine! Hahahaha. Our teacher is so makulet, on a high yung prof namin. It was a super fun first meeting. Hoping that the 'fun' would last 'till the end of the sem. My very kind and considerate teachers in Eng1 and Hum2 didn't bother showing up last meeting. I waited for 30 mins on each class for my teachers to show up but they are nowhere in sight. Sayang naman ang tulog hours ko, napuputol. Haha. I'm a bit nervous with my ECO130 - Elements of Mathematical Economics with Sir Romel Saplaco! (on a positive note, hindi ako kay Sir Sahise, SWERTE! haha!) I suck at math big time but I hope after this sem my phobia with math would lessen a bit. When I had my first look at the course outline my heart sank! Matrix Algebra, Linear Programming, Basic Calculus, Optimization (HATEST) and Exponents and Logarithms. Oh great. Lord, help me. Amen. That was my initial reaction. But I know Sir Saplaco is a good teacher. He was my teacher before in Eco11 so I'm comfortable with him already. That's a start. :) I also have ECO104 - Introduction to Factor Market Analysis, General Equilibrium And Welfare Economics. What? Zzzzzzzzz. I'm really boring you kids already. I'm sorry I'm an ECON MAJOR. ;) That's an extention to my Eco102 subject last sem. So Sir Chip, patay ka lagi akong magcoconsult sayo? Haha. And of course, my dreaded, most feared subject is ECO137 - Quantitative Economics. Ito na yung halong stat at econ. Ito rin yung my 3hr lab class. I will just pray really, really hard and leave everything to God. Amen. :) So, gusto ko ng mag summer friends!!! Hahahaha.

***
sidetrack:

I was able to watch ONE MORE CHANCE this weekend with Febby and Roanne. Yay. :) It was a good movie (Or nakakarelate lang kasi ako kaya ganun? haha. XD). John Lloyd is LOVE! I'm not really a fan of his but he's really, really good. Even before when he played Ely in Maging Sino Ka Man he was my favorite character. Hands down to the writers of the movie. I love the lines! Especially the hospital scene. Awwwwwwww. And when Basha (Bea A.) said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." that just crushed my heart. I got teary eyed on that part. JOLOGS AKO EH. Hahahahaha. I'll buy the dvd version of the movie when it is already available in the market to write down the lines. Hahaha. Gano ka adik yun? =)) The movie is perfect for couples experiencing some rough times in their relationships. *cough*cough* Now, is there a movie for moving on....



Wednesday, November 14, 2007

empty apartment.

So i was super sleepy and dizzy while writing my previous blog entry. sorry for the typo and wrong grammars. HAHA.

Anyways, I will promise myself that someday when I'm filthy rich, I'll go to Hong Kong as often as I could. It's only 1 hr and 45 mins away from Manila. Parang LB lang. Haha. How I wish that our country is like theirs; clean, rich, and very much in progress. It's kinda depressing the moment I stepped out of NAIA I saw a lot of street children and adutls who are very capable of working asking for alms. I saw a lot of houses made from scraps. I saw a bunch of old men drinking beer on the side of the streets. I saw jeepney drivers not following traffic signs. I saw litters on the streets. I saw how different our country is from Hong Kong. Let's do something to change the situation we have right now. Clearly, the bombings should stop. Our political system should change. The people running our political system should change. The attitude of our people should change. The inferiority and the labels we are being dubbed should change. Habang my mga taong patuloy na nananampalataya at nagdadasal para sa kinabukasan ng bansa, hindi pa huli ang lahat.

*** sidetrack***

I'm back in LB once again for the second sem. Back to geeky,nerdy mode once again. BOO! haha. I only have two classes tomorrow and then I'm going back once again to durty down south! yeah. There's no place like the South. :)

"She had me at my worst. You had me at my best. Yet you chose to break my heart." - ONE MORE CHANCE (now showing!!!:P)
Jologs na kung jologs pero papanuorin ko talaga ito! Sana showing siya sa Town. HAHAHA. Dun pa talaga eh. Jologs cool pare! Alam ko namang makaka relate ako sa pelikulang ito eh. Kaya nanamnamin ko ng todo. Hahahahaha.

"Sana ako pa rin. Ako na lang. Ako nalang ulit."



Tuesday, November 13, 2007

PICS :)


THIS IS HONG KONG. :)



train from the airport.

our hotel @ tsuen wan

pecking duck

crab meat. (super sarap!!)

CHEESECAKES! YUMMY! X)

bus ride going to ocean park

Ocean Park at 30 :)

my first time to see a panda.

CLOWNFISH! (OH NEMO!!! :D)

Ocean Theater

Feel the depth!

view from our cable car (is that South China Sea?:P)

The Peak Tower

tamang love team. ;)

hollywood style

the peak of Hong Kong

night markets are love. :)

and the rest is in China. ;)

@ Hong Kong

the city during the day

"i have a thing for ferry boats" - mcdreamy

Beijing 2008 countdown begins!

HONG KONG!

Hong Kong is second rate New York. They looked so much alike I was so thrilled! Tall building, trains and subways and public transportations, awesome luxury cars everywhere, shopping, food, city lights, the bricks on the side walk, busy, fast-paced lifestyle.. I could go on and on about their similarities. Well of course the language observed is one obvious difference. The writings on the billboards and road signs and store signs differ; in New York you could understand what it says, in Hong Kong, uhhh maybe not. :)) Also when you ride the subway in NY, you can eavesdrop on people's conversations (haha). Except if they happen to be African Americans because their slang is sooo difficult to understand and follow. In HK, you will not have the slightest idea what they are talking about. They talk really loud as if they're angry with each other. Also, they say their words really fast! It's very, very hard to communicate with them because not all of them understands English. Sometimes I just nod my head in response when they talk to me because clearly I don't know what they are talking about. Shopping in New York will lead to poverty while shopping in Hong Kong is prosperity. (waht? hahahaha. I just wanted it to rhyme :P)

Don't get me wrong, being a second rate 'THE NYC' is not a bad thing, not at all. New York will forever be my favorite place in the whole wide world but I still fell madly in love with Hong Kong! Hong Kong is LOVE! Hong Kong is a haven for people who goes mad when shopping! Now I know why it is dubbed as the shopping capital of the world. ESPRIT IS SO CHEAP THERE! Quicksilver's also cheaper. I bought a Roxy jacket for $180 (that's roughly 1000php) which was real steal! There are also night markets there, tiangge's here. There was one place where I thought for a moment I was in Divisoria! Ha Ha. I'm not really sure if there's a counter-part for the 5th Avenue in Manhattan there in Hong Kong city. But the city offers huge, huge designer stores ( i mean 3 floors full of Armani, Prada, Louis Vuitton...) Someday, when I'm filthy rich, I'll go to Hong Kong as much as I can just to shop.

Random Observations
I was told that it was hot in Hong Kong but it's winter time so it was DEFINITELY NOT! My lips are so chapped from all that wind burn. It's sooo windy and cool in Hong Kong during this time of the year. I love it!

There are a lot of Filipina OFW's who work in HK. I saw A LOT of them especially on Sunday. That's why i concluded that Sunday was probably a rest day or day-off for them. They were all over the place when we were in Admiralty. It was so nice seeing a familiar Filipino face and acknowledging us with a smile. That was so sweet of them. I hear them whispering, "Uy! Pinay!", then flash their smiles at me.

I love the uniforms of those Chinese girls! With knee-high socks, pleated skirts, white blouse with neck tie then their jackets on, napapa lss ako sa kanta na "All the things she said, all the things she said running through me my head, this is not enooughhh!" =))

I can affirm that Koreans really love to do the peace sign when they are posing for pictures! SOBRANG CUTE!!! Nakakagigil yung mga bata na naka peace sign talaga!

Everytime you leave a store in HK, their employees would tell, "tankyou bahbaye!" Chinese style! That's the only English phrase they perfected! Cute! :)

I didn't see a suburban area, you know like a community with normal looking houses. I guess they all live in the tall buildings seen everywhere in HK.

***
I'm super sleeepy right now so i will update again tomorrow. Also post some pics. :)

Goodmornayt everyone!

I'm back in Pinas!


Tuesday, November 06, 2007

And I had a vision of seeing things straight.

Schedule


Time

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

7-8


8-9

SOC 10 - B

ECON 137 - C-1L

SOC 10 - B


9-10

SOC 10 - B

ECON 137 - C-1L

SOC 10 - B


10-11

ECON 137 - C

ECON 137 - C-1L

ECON 137 - C


11-12

ENG 1(AH) - D1

HIST 1(SSP) - V

ENG 1(AH) - D1

HIST 1(SSP) - V


12-1

ENG 1(AH) - D1

HIST 1(SSP) - V

ENG 1(AH) - D1

HIST 1(SSP) - V


1-2

HUM 2(AH) - E

HUM 2(AH) - E


2-3

HUM 2(AH) - E

HUM 2(AH) - E


3-4

ECON 130 - F

ECON 130 - F


4-5

ECON 104 - Y

ECON 104 - Y


5-6

ECON 104 - Y

ECON 104 - Y


6-7



hello 2nd sem. summer na! =)) i have 21 units lang naman next sem. yeah! go go go! FIGHT!
i have a 30min break every MW for the whole day! what! salamat sa 30mins ha! haha. 3hr econ lab class every tuesday. woah. what the hell?! hahaha. thank goodness because i still have a bunch of GE's to save my life. yay! :) i cancelled my PE which was aerobics dancing (ha ha) because i know i will just cut it when hell week approaches. ;)

last sem was ok. i made it to the dean's list as a college scholar with an average of 1.625 which according to roanne is not so bad. well my goal really was to be a university scholar with an average of 1.45 but i guess my efforts weren't enough. =)) hat's off to those students who made it as a u.s. because clearly it takes a lot of hardwork and patience which i am still lacking. onti pa! haha. nakakapagod kasi mag-aral. pero, for my future, FIGHT! hahaha. walang masamang mangarap, so my dream of becoming a university scholar still holds. hangga't my GE, may pag-asa pa ako. hahahahaha. sorry bobo, GE lang kaya ko i-flat 1 eh. :P (ha ha ha)

happy birthday pep! (nov6)
advance happy birthday bethsieee giep! (nov7)

enjoy the remaining blissful days of our sembreak. love it! with matching actions! hahaha. :P

Friday, November 02, 2007

remember the dead.

just got home from pangasinan and bataan. tour of luzon. haha. kapagowwwd umupo sa kotse ng buong araw. haha. celebrated halloween in lingayen, pangasinan (hometown of my dad) and celebrated all saint's day in samal, bataan (hometown of my mom). side trips every now and then. haha. tinatamad ako mag upload ng pics at tinatamad din akong magsulat. ang sarap tamarin without feeling any pressure. HAHAHA. almost 2 weeks pa ang sembreak ko. SARAP! iba talaga pag sa bundok nag-aaral eh. ;) haha.
HAPPY 18th birthday chapot! see you gensan friends again tomorrow. catch ya latur. :D






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