Friday, June 23, 2006
most missed memories.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
elsewhere.
The calm inside me
In this space where I can breathe
I believe there is a distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years
Reaching out and reaching in
Holding out holding in
I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence
If I chose to would you try to understand
Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Oh mother don't you see I've got
To live my life the way I feel is right for me,
Say it's not right for you
But it's right for me
I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence
If I chose to would you try to understand...
haley's first performance in karen's cafe with nathan.*oth*
Sunday, June 04, 2006
new beginnings.
i am staring at this blank notepad for quite a while now.
clearly i do not know where to start..how to start..or why should i even start..
ahhh. beginnings.
i am usually not a fan of new beginnings.
i'm scared of how everything will turn out to be. i'm scared of how everything will change. i'm scared of leaving behind the life i had gotten used to. i'm scared that life goes on whether i want it or not.
i'm scared to face the fact that not all things last.
a lot of people see new beginnings as a sign of hope, a renewal.
but not all turned out to be good.
some, though managed to be better.
a new beginning for me is a test. the outcome shall depend on how well you take it, how prepared you are for it and how you see it.
in about 2 weeks, i shall start a new beginning.
i will no longer be living in our home sweet home. i will no longer cross the busy, noisy and polluted streets of manila. i will no longer be a part of the school i've been for the past 13 years. i will no longer attend any morning assemblies under the heat of the sun. i will no longer see together the class that had been my second family. i will no longer eat in the school's trellis during lunchtime. i will no longer get to cheer at the top of my lungs during intramurals. i will no longer wear a uniform and mary jane shoes. i will no longer ride a tricycle on my way home. i will no longer enjoy my mom's home cooked meals. i will no longer be annoyed by my brothers. i will no longer enjoy the comforts of my house. i will no longer live the life i'd had all my life.
everything shall change.
and i can't seem to let go.
a big part of me will still be wishing to wake up one day and live this kind of life. it will always, always be a part of me. i shall always look back on how everything used to be. but now, i shall look forward and face the new chapter of my life that awaits me.
i can never be prepared for it. it may never be as good as the one i had before. i may or may not like it. it may be the life i had always dreamt of. it may turn out be a surprise.
but i shall put aside all the "it may's..."
i shall never know. but for now.. it is really time to move on.
just don't forget to look back and be thankful for what you had.
♥♥♥
clearly i do not know where to start..how to start..or why should i even start..
ahhh. beginnings.
i am usually not a fan of new beginnings.
i'm scared of how everything will turn out to be. i'm scared of how everything will change. i'm scared of leaving behind the life i had gotten used to. i'm scared that life goes on whether i want it or not.
i'm scared to face the fact that not all things last.
a lot of people see new beginnings as a sign of hope, a renewal.
but not all turned out to be good.
some, though managed to be better.
a new beginning for me is a test. the outcome shall depend on how well you take it, how prepared you are for it and how you see it.
in about 2 weeks, i shall start a new beginning.
i will no longer be living in our home sweet home. i will no longer cross the busy, noisy and polluted streets of manila. i will no longer be a part of the school i've been for the past 13 years. i will no longer attend any morning assemblies under the heat of the sun. i will no longer see together the class that had been my second family. i will no longer eat in the school's trellis during lunchtime. i will no longer get to cheer at the top of my lungs during intramurals. i will no longer wear a uniform and mary jane shoes. i will no longer ride a tricycle on my way home. i will no longer enjoy my mom's home cooked meals. i will no longer be annoyed by my brothers. i will no longer enjoy the comforts of my house. i will no longer live the life i'd had all my life.
everything shall change.
and i can't seem to let go.
a big part of me will still be wishing to wake up one day and live this kind of life. it will always, always be a part of me. i shall always look back on how everything used to be. but now, i shall look forward and face the new chapter of my life that awaits me.
i can never be prepared for it. it may never be as good as the one i had before. i may or may not like it. it may be the life i had always dreamt of. it may turn out be a surprise.
but i shall put aside all the "it may's..."
i shall never know. but for now.. it is really time to move on.
just don't forget to look back and be thankful for what you had.
♥♥♥
Saturday, June 03, 2006
lost.
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