Sunday, June 04, 2006
new beginnings.
i am staring at this blank notepad for quite a while now.
clearly i do not know where to start..how to start..or why should i even start..
ahhh. beginnings.
i am usually not a fan of new beginnings.
i'm scared of how everything will turn out to be. i'm scared of how everything will change. i'm scared of leaving behind the life i had gotten used to. i'm scared that life goes on whether i want it or not.
i'm scared to face the fact that not all things last.
a lot of people see new beginnings as a sign of hope, a renewal.
but not all turned out to be good.
some, though managed to be better.
a new beginning for me is a test. the outcome shall depend on how well you take it, how prepared you are for it and how you see it.
in about 2 weeks, i shall start a new beginning.
i will no longer be living in our home sweet home. i will no longer cross the busy, noisy and polluted streets of manila. i will no longer be a part of the school i've been for the past 13 years. i will no longer attend any morning assemblies under the heat of the sun. i will no longer see together the class that had been my second family. i will no longer eat in the school's trellis during lunchtime. i will no longer get to cheer at the top of my lungs during intramurals. i will no longer wear a uniform and mary jane shoes. i will no longer ride a tricycle on my way home. i will no longer enjoy my mom's home cooked meals. i will no longer be annoyed by my brothers. i will no longer enjoy the comforts of my house. i will no longer live the life i'd had all my life.
everything shall change.
and i can't seem to let go.
a big part of me will still be wishing to wake up one day and live this kind of life. it will always, always be a part of me. i shall always look back on how everything used to be. but now, i shall look forward and face the new chapter of my life that awaits me.
i can never be prepared for it. it may never be as good as the one i had before. i may or may not like it. it may be the life i had always dreamt of. it may turn out be a surprise.
but i shall put aside all the "it may's..."
i shall never know. but for now.. it is really time to move on.
just don't forget to look back and be thankful for what you had.
♥♥♥
clearly i do not know where to start..how to start..or why should i even start..
ahhh. beginnings.
i am usually not a fan of new beginnings.
i'm scared of how everything will turn out to be. i'm scared of how everything will change. i'm scared of leaving behind the life i had gotten used to. i'm scared that life goes on whether i want it or not.
i'm scared to face the fact that not all things last.
a lot of people see new beginnings as a sign of hope, a renewal.
but not all turned out to be good.
some, though managed to be better.
a new beginning for me is a test. the outcome shall depend on how well you take it, how prepared you are for it and how you see it.
in about 2 weeks, i shall start a new beginning.
i will no longer be living in our home sweet home. i will no longer cross the busy, noisy and polluted streets of manila. i will no longer be a part of the school i've been for the past 13 years. i will no longer attend any morning assemblies under the heat of the sun. i will no longer see together the class that had been my second family. i will no longer eat in the school's trellis during lunchtime. i will no longer get to cheer at the top of my lungs during intramurals. i will no longer wear a uniform and mary jane shoes. i will no longer ride a tricycle on my way home. i will no longer enjoy my mom's home cooked meals. i will no longer be annoyed by my brothers. i will no longer enjoy the comforts of my house. i will no longer live the life i'd had all my life.
everything shall change.
and i can't seem to let go.
a big part of me will still be wishing to wake up one day and live this kind of life. it will always, always be a part of me. i shall always look back on how everything used to be. but now, i shall look forward and face the new chapter of my life that awaits me.
i can never be prepared for it. it may never be as good as the one i had before. i may or may not like it. it may be the life i had always dreamt of. it may turn out be a surprise.
but i shall put aside all the "it may's..."
i shall never know. but for now.. it is really time to move on.
just don't forget to look back and be thankful for what you had.
♥♥♥
// posted by ♥ selle_anne ♥ @ 9:36 PM 
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