Friday, December 07, 2007

the struggle continues.

to hell with grammar and continuity and flow and coherence.

magsusulat lang ako.

PAGOD NA AKO. :((

my one week of being a 'trainee' in (insert org name here) is really a brand new experience for me. pagod na ako. i'm not sure if next week masasabi ko na i have an org na. because right now, yung mga batchmates ko nalang talaga yung reason kung bakit ako nagcocontinue. pagod na ako. naprove ko na sa sarili ko na my prinsipyo ako, na may mga bagay na kaya ko pala gawin, na i can deliver amidst pressure, na matatag ako, na strong ako. tama na. sobra na. isang reason nalang talaga, ayoko na. i know mabubuhay ako. i know i can manage. i survived my first year in college without forming any close relationships except for my housemates. and here i am right now, breathing, living. bahala na. impulsive lang ba ako for saying this? i don't know. sorry, pero pagod na ako sumunod, mauto.. pero mali pa rin ako. wah. paano pag ganun talaga yung paniniwala ko? you cannot impose your principles on other people. magka iba tayo ng beliefs,ng backgrounds, ng experiences. waaah. bahala na.

sinabi ko na naman, wala talaga akong balak mag org in the first place. 1 week of hell-est est est pa. kaya ko pa ba? hindi ko na alam. :(( pagod na talaga ako.

once na nakita kong nabebend na talaga yung prinsipyo ko, ayoko na talaga.

and sana nga, kung quit ang isa, quit ang lahat.

that's my definition of batch unity.

so be it.

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